Stumbling over the Edge

The next week I felt numb. My father came on visiting day, but I didn’t really hear what he had to say.

Lover nurse brought me more pudding, and we messed around a few times during his breaks.

But mostly, I smoked. The more numb I became during therapy sessions, the more drugs they gave me. I think that’s what I wanted all along.

It was not until that next Thursday, after visiting day, that he appeared again.

I sat on the rooftop, spending my time making smoke figures when I felt a tingling on the back of my neck.

I glanced over near the door, where he was. “Thought you’d had enough.”

“… Nah, crazy girl…” his voice sounded broken.

“Then, what do you want?” I should have been nice. I should have crushed my blunt then and there, and said to hell with the drug, and turned and apologized.

I faced forward again and started making green smoke rings.

“I’m going to show you what I can do.”

He didn’t move, he teleported, pulled the weed from my lips and crushed it under his polished boot.

Reggie had dressed up.

In my stoned state, I reacted slowly, not able to stop him as he pulled my hand toward the ledge of the three story building, then jumped, taking me with him.

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Edge of Hysteria

I laughed at him. I just laughed, seeing, knowing how much it hurt in his eyes.

I didn’t know whether he was real or not, whether he was telling the truth, or why I didn’t care. I just laughed, dismissing his advancements.

I laughed.

I laughed so hard.

I laughed like I couldn’t control myself.

I would later blame my lack of tack on the herbs, those sweet leaves that turned ceilings into waves. But, I knew better. I laughed and laughed until my stomach hurt. Then, I gripped my chest and laughed some more.

I thought Reggie was going to cry. Reggie Edge, or whatever his real name is.

Revealing his deepest secret to me, I should have been honored, hell, scared, baffled even.

But, I covered that fear with jokes.

Reggie was gone when I opened my eyes. It surprised me, then the guilt set in.

Going back to my bed, I sat there, staring at the wall, with an unopened pudding up in my hand, wanting him to come back.

Edgie State

Stumbling backwards, I reached for the wall behind me, then fell to the floor. “Edge? Your name is Colt.”

“Nah,” Reggie shook his head, “Edge is my real name. Colt is just a cover-”

“The fuck it is,” I responded bitterly. “Tell me what the hell is going on, why couldn’t he see you?”

My friend sighed. He ran his hands through his greasy hair, then rubbed them on his pants again. “… Magic isn’t a good enough answer, is it?”

“No.”

Another sigh, “Alright, alright. Just… Don’t be pissed at me?”

I eyed him, waiting for an answer.

“Okay, so I don’t just do magic, I make potions, too. And then I turn those potions into powder and, well, sell them. Let’s just say… You got a bad a batch. … A really bad batch.”

He was lying. He HAD to be. But, that nurse never once acknowledged him.

“You were less pathetic when you were just a drug dealer.” I snapped, standing back up. That was the way I dealt with things I could not handle. I insulted them.

“Aw, come on, Trini, I can prove it.” He reached out to grab my hand, but I slapped it away.

“No, you can leave. I’m going to eat my pudding and go to bed. And you’re going to leave.”

“Hold on, you’re not even the least bit spooked by this?”

I was terrified. And that fear fueled my anger. “For all I know, you could be another hallucination. And let’s be honest, Reg, you couldn’t intimidate a bunny.” I insulted him again. Up until now, he was always a pushover. Now, he was some supernatural being who could turn invisible? And that was assuming that I had not made him up completely.

“Come on. I really thought I was gonna pull off the whole supernatural bad boy thing.” Reggie rested his hands in his pockets and glanced down.

“Even if you were some wizard who could do magic, you wouldn’t hurt a fly. You don’t have the guts.”

Reggie looked at me. Then, he walked up to me, pretending to be cool as he rested a hand against the door behind me, his arm above my shoulder. “So, come with me, and I’ll show you what I can do.”

Reggie Edge

A knock came at the door, and when I did not answer, it opened.

“It’s Bruce. Just coming in to check on how you are doing.” The male nurse called into my room.

I said nothing as I continued to stare at Reggie in disbelief. Bruce waited a moment or two before deciding my silence was consent to enter.

Reggie’s grin only got bigger as the man walked in, paying no attention to the ginger resting in the corner.

“… I-I’m fine,” I answered quickly so he would not call a doctor in concern of my silence, “… Thanks.” I added as well, trying to be polite. I took a breath and looked toward the nurse in white with a nod, trying not to focus too much on the dorky friend he had failed to acknowledge in the corner.

“Okay, good. If you need anything else, just let me know.” Setting a tray down on the table Reggie sat at, Bruce brought over my evening psychotic pill, which I was pretty sure was just made of sugar, and a cup of water. “How is the high? Coming down okay?”

My attention averted from Reggie to the nurse, and I tried to ignore the black eye he was sporting from the week before. “Oh, and the kitchen had some extra pudding cups, so I snagged you one instead of the normal applesauce.”

I assaulted this guy the day before, and now he was being polite? The dude did not seem like the type to cower, so why was he being so nice?

“Uh… thanks…?”

The male nurse smiled at me and held the water and pill out for me to take.

I took the water and pill quickly, and stared at him until I realized that he would not leave until I had taken them. I glanced at Reggie for just a moment, then quickly swallowed the pill and drank the dirty hospital water.

Once Bruce was satisfied that I had taken it, he took the cup back and headed for the door. “Have a good night.” He called out, then waited at the door to see if I would answer him back.

Another moment of silence and the nurse finally left.

Jumping out of bed, I rushed to the door and quickly locked it. “Yeah, he totally wants to bone you,” Reggie commented, nodding with his stupid grin.

My whipped back at Reggie, “What. The. Hell.”

“I know, right? You would think that after you clocked him, he would transfer to a different floor or something. Hm, must enjoy the abuse.”

“Not lover nurse! You! What-! How-! How are you even here?!”

“Meh, its complicated magic stuff,” Reggie waved his hand, then grinned that dorky grin of his. “I’m not a ghost or anything, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“… But… What?”

“I’m still the same me,” he commented. I stared. Standing, Reggie rubbed his hand on his shorts and held it out. “Name’s Reggie Edge, nice to meet you, crazy girl.”

Edges and Waves

I laid on my bed, staring up at the white ceiling as it turned different shades of green and blue. A ‘high’ is what they called it. A medical induced one, anyway.

“I thought weed was supposed to calm you, make you feel really chill.”

“Aren’t you chill now?”

I sat up slightly and glanced at the wobbly Reggie, who leaned back in the one chair in the room. Flopping my head back down, I sighed, “I would be if the ceiling would stop moving.”

“Ooh, whats that like?” he asked, the legs of the chair dropping down as he sat up straight.

“Like being in the belly of the beast,” I replied. Then snorted.

Reggie did, too. “Id say its more like floating beneath the ocean,” he nodded.

“Or, above it, as you stare down at the crashing waves below you, just waiting for the moment you fall.”

“You’re so dramatic.”

“This ceiling is dramatic,” I retorted.

I allowed the silent crashing of ceiling waves to fill my head for five minutes. Then, I spoke up again, “I’ve never been to the ocean.”

“That’s ’cause you’re lame like that.”

They started to turn pink and yellow. “Do you think people see monkeys as red when they’re high?”

“Why, are you seeing monkey?”

“No, just thinking about them.”

“I don’t know what people see when they’re high.”

“Haven’t you ever been high before?”

“Nope. I sell drugs, I don’t do them.”

“You’re lame.”

“If I smoked my own weed, Id be out of a job.”

“Oh. True.”

I exhaled. “What day is it again?”

He snorted, “Last time I checked, it was Friday.”

“Oh, yeah, that’s right. My dad came to visit me the other day, Wednesday.”

“Oh? He did? How was that?”

“Apparently, smashing a pudding cup into the table because it wont open is considered violent behavior.”

Reggie snorted. “Really? Is that what those bruises on your wrists are from?”

I raised an arm and stared at the red marks. “Nope. Those are from the male nurse I punched. Apparently, that’s frowned upon too, so they restrained me.”

“Why’d you punch a nurse?”

“Because he wouldn’t give me a replacement pudding cup. I was still hungry.”

Reggie burst into laughter at that.

I smiled a little, too. The ceiling seemed to shake with his laughter.

“I wonder if my dad will visit next Wednesday.” It was the only day we were allowed visitors

“If he’s not too ashamed to call you his daughter,” he snickered again.

“Hey, Reg,” I sat up again and stared at him. He dropped the front legs of his chair and looked at me, a smirk still on his features as he nodded my way.

“Sub, crazy girl?”

“… How did you even get in here?”

Red Edges

“Hey, dad,” I sat down across from him and set my spoon and pudding to the side. The man looked exhausted.

“Hey, kid,” he nodded at me, but sighed as well.

“So, come to visit, or take me home this time?” Now that the greetings where over with, I picked up my pudding and struggled to open it.

“Come on now… I get daily updates from the doctors, they said you got into another fight again.”

“Yeah, and? This place has crazy people, dad.” The stupid plastic cover wouldnt pull off the stupid pudding cup.

“Yeah, it does, kid,” he nodded with another sigh.

Why couldn’t they serve GoGurt in this place. My stomach was gnawing on my insides from the munchies. “And Philips asks me the same damn questions every day, this place is boring.”

“Hey, I heard one of your friends from school has been visiting you.”

“Yeah, Reggie is cool like that.” I nodded, focusing on getting the pudding. The sweet, chocolaty, cheap pudding, like everything else in this place.

“Oh, and who is this Reggie?” Dad raised an eyebrow, playing the overprotective father for five minutes.

“Just some guy at school. He was hoping I would be out before prom, but that’s obviously not going to happen.” Stupid pudding!

“Well, he should understand that you’re here to get better.”

“Yeah, whatever. If you’re not going to let me out, at least make yourself useful and allow conjugal visits, Reggie is getting bored on the outside.”

“Trini!” The man sat up straight, staring at me with surprise. “You are not-”

“Gah!” Standing, I turned the pudding cup upside down and smashed it into the table several times, until it popped and the chocolate squirted onto the table. I continued to smash the plastic container against the metal table, crumbling the trash in my fist.

“Trinity!” My dad stood and gripped my shirt in both hands, shaking me from my rage. “Look at yourself!”

I stopped at stared at him, rather surprised at his sudden outburst. “Look at what you are doing!” he threw a hand toward the pudding mess. “This isn’t normal!”

“Well, I wanted pudding-”

“You’re not like this. You’re not violent! Why can’t you see that?”

“It wouldn’t open!”

“You’ve lost over a hundred pounds a one month, you’re not even eating, Trinity. Looking at yourself, you look like a skeleton in a medical gown.”

“Yeah, thanks for the compliment, Dad, you look kinda terrible yourself-”

He slapped me. His hand shook afterwards, and he instantly let go of my shirt. “This isn’t a game to me,” he looked sad, and horrified. “Trinity, you think I want this for you? You think I want you in here? You think I like being at home by myself? I don’t understand what is going on, but you’re not well.”

“Oh, stop being dramatic!” I yelled back at him. “You probably love being able to sleep with your new wife wherever you want to in the house! And that witch overreacted, it was just stupid perfume!”

“Eve is in coma, Trinity!” He yelled louder, but the man was on the brink of tears. The room went silent, as we had every inmates attention now.

Oh. … Whatever, I didn’t hit her that hard. I… “Why’d you have to get married? Why’d you have to betray mom like that!”

“You’re mother left us! She abandoned us years ago! You have never been attached to her. Eve was nothing but kind to you. She’s the one who insisted you needed more freedom, more time to stay out late, she bought you your phone and the car. You love Eve! Why don’t you remember, Trinity? I only married her because you told me you wanted her to stay with us.”

I… I loved the witch? No, that was not right… She… she was mean to me, so mean… She… She did something, right?

I shook my head. No, I would not listen to these lies.

“… Trinity… Please tell me you remember. Please.”

I shook my head again, then looked at my father. “… I… I hope she stays in that coma.”

White Edges

I inhaled, sighed, then sucked on the burnt paper, exhaling through my nose as smoke swirled into the air. “I get locked up for doing drugs, and what do they do when I get here? Give me drugs to help me recover.”

It was nice to be outside, enjoying the sunshine after all of the rain we had the last week. I could still smell the damp wetness from the rooftops.

“Yeah, but they’ll never legalize the good stuff,” Reggie nodded from his resting place on the other side of the picnic table.

“Good stuff? Like what you gave me?” Whatever it had been, this medical weed didn’t compare.

He snorted, “Sure, you could call it that.”

I sighed when I did not get the answer I wanted and took another drag.

“Your dad come to visit?”

“Don’t think he can stand the sight of me right now. Besides, he’s on a business meeting overseas. I still can’t believe that witch locked me in here. It was just stupid perfume.”

“Didn’t you bash her face in the mirror of that vanity, first?”

“That’s beside the point.” I replied with a small smile. “Even so, that would mean its your fault I got locked in here.”

He chuckled, “Meh, worth it.” He sat up and rested his elbows on the table. “Think you’ll be out in time for prom?”

“In your dreams, Reg.”

He snorted at that, “As long as I’m allowed to dream.”

I shook the ash from the blunt, then looked back at him, “What about Sonya?”

“Oh, she switched sides.”

“Ouch, that sucks, man.” I faced forward again to hide my smile.

Another inhale of medical induced bliss, and I crushed what was left in the hospital provided ash tray. My treatment for the day now over, they would take me back inside to the white rooms, where I would wait out the high before I was brought food, then taken to Dr. Philips, the jerk with a PhD.

“So, when do they allow conjugal visits?”

I cut my eyes in his direction but smiled anyway. “When I’m eighteen.”

“Well, that’s boring.” Reggie stood up and tasted the smoke on my lips. Then, he stepped on the other side of the park bench to leave. “See you around, crazy girl.”

“Enjoy your lonely evening, drug dealer.” He gave a bow at my comment and exited the roof as two nurses came through to retrieve me.