Like being dumped, except you left the knife in my back.

What do you want me to do?

Stand there and be like you?

How can I justify to you what I do,

When you’ll just toss me aside, like the rest, too.

This game of tug and war

Is making me go insane.

The times we spend together,

Weren’t the memories supposed to last forever?

You were never a lover,

But a friend that was supposed

To be here when I needed cover.

I know you’ll never stop to read this,

You’ll just pass on through.

I suppose that’s why I write for me,

And not you.

I am a social outcast,

And you’re with the in crowd,

But I thought being an individual

Meant staying unique,

And true.

You’re bipolar, insane.

I can’t grasp the concept of your mood swings.

What did I ever do?

What didn’t I do?

Please tell me

So, that I may forgive you.

You’ll be my best friend again.

Things can’t just go back to the way things were,

But I know that if you just help me mend it,

Maybe I won’t have to cry anymore.

Those endless nights I stay awake,

I could never burden a line with them on your face.

The dreams I had of you telling me you hated me,

Will never pass my lips, you see.

For you don’t understand what I went through,

And I’m not asking you to.

Just stop with this incessant confusion,

And let us be friends again.

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The Smells in Our Lives

Friends left and smells gone,
I cringe at the bittersweet scents of the past.

Downy as down in chemicals is sickening
As stomach flips from previous kisses

Cat and spice, like a bad foreign romance, fills me with ache and pain, and an urge to spit upon the pages and scream out in anger, “I have ascended!”

Sweat and perfume, like the two brewed on a dusty old shelf, brought back feelings of freedom, carefree-ness and an urge to give all away,

Now, sink me low, like swallowed rocks, dragging my feet as the tears fall.

Will the pain never end? Is our only solution to fill these voids with “replacements”, never truly respecting those who step into the gap.

Smelling is as heartwretching as puking, vomiting, expelling all the bad and the good, never able to choose between.

Oh, what I would give for a smell eraser machine.

My Dearest Mina

My dearest Mina,

Your eyes were a soft blackness
     That glowed through the night.
Your hair,
     A raven’s silk mane.

Oh sweet, gentle Mina, tell me of all your accomplishments.
     Dearest friend, let me know of your caring.
Poe’s beast, with feathers like ink,
     Are a butterfly’s wing beat,
          Compared to your lily white kisses.

How you assist those in need,
     Like you’d always wished.

No patient of yours shall eye or speak,
     Of coins for the ferryman.
Instead, soar high above the cloud,
     With your imagination.

Sooth their anguish,
     Stop their pain.
Leave only my heart the one
     Bleeding in your wake.

Like the broken promises we swore,
     I give my word
          To never show
               The wounds you tore.

And to quote The Raven,
     I shall see you
          Nevermore.